Can you believe that a person with a very low self-esteem can actually work against himself/herself towards self destruction? Believe it because it happens. A person who thinks that he/she does not deserve a great spouse can destroy the marriage because of insecurity and usually manifest such insecurity in cheating.
Cheating of this type is almost always uncalled for, meaning that the "great" spouse gave no reason whatsoever to cause such a reaction from the cheating spouse. The cheater's only enemy is himself/herself. The faithful spouse who appears to be causing the insecurity is not to blame for being perceived to be too good for the cheater. The fact that the love was reciprocated is enough proof that the faithful spouse does not think that he/she is out of the cheating spouse's league in any way, so to speak.
So what then is the remedy for this situation? The best remedy is actually preventive. A person who believes that he/she will be unable to handle the stress of being married to a person considered to be superior should not enter the relationship at all. The self-destructive cheater can save everyone a lot of trouble and heartache by not committing to someone who expects to be trusted in marriage.
Many promising marriages have gone down the drain due to imagined possibilities of being easily discarded by the "great" spouse. In their continued anxiety over the prospect, insecure spouses might be tempted to cheat just to prove that they can find another partner in case their partners actually leave them. It is a classic case of a specific defense mechanism which supports the idea that" it is better you than me to be hurt". Extreme insecurity can push the vulnerable to self-destruction.
