Your Children and Your Husband's Mistress

By some cruel twist of fate, a wife can find herself an outsider to a family that was once hers in a not so distant time. Losing a husband to another woman is bad enough but to see yourself "losing" you children as well to your husband's mistress in terms of affection is certainly heart-breaking. Somehow, you cannot help but question your worth as a wife, mother, woman, and human being.

You'll probably be entertaining thoughts such as : are you that replaceable that even your children appear to be siding with the "enemy"? When your children come home from their father and his mistress and cannot seem to stop telling stories that portray her as a good woman or good mother ( God forbid!), you cannot help but feel set aside by your own family. Let's face it, any cheated wife will understandably feel better if her children sides with her in the issue of their father's cheating. After all, she is supposed to be the victim, right?

Older children are more sensitive to this and would tend to hide their good feelings for the mistress, if any, on account of their mother's feelings. Younger kids are more spontaneous and would tend to say things as they are. Of course, this doesn't mean that they love their mother less.

Unfortunately for the cheated wife, there are "good" mistresses out there who are genuinely good with people, including their lovers' children. This goodness however, does not wash away her fault in coming between two persons in a marriage but can sometimes get lost in the whole process. Eventually, she can be accepted by members of the family and this could feel like a personal affront to a hurting wife.

It is because of this truth that a cheated should strive more to better herself in spite of the separation. She can never be seen as a positive presence even among her children if she insists on wallowing in misery. She may not have the power to bring things back as they were, but she has every ability to produce a better life for herself and her children.