A lot of good spouses have been hit hard by their partner's infidelity. They clearly did not deserve it but they got it just the same. If a good spouse has to deal with this reality, how on earth can a less-than-good spouse fair any better?
In cheating cases of this kind, the problem is not about what the faithful spouse has done or failed to do. There are simply people who will cheat no matter how good their deal is because that is who they are. Most of them will try to pass on the fault to their unknowing spouses who should know better than to accept the insult added to the injury.
Many good people who are on the receiving end of infidelity punish themselves for the mistake of the cheating spouse. They try to discover what they could have done or not done to prevent it, not realizing that they are powerless from the very start to stop it. A deliberate cheater will not be denied his chance to cheat, whether or not a reason to do so exists.
Probably because of their inherent goodness and their firm belief in the basic goodness of all people, these cheated spouses are typically the most forgiving and the most willing to provide second chances. Repetitive abuse of trust by the cheater is always a possibility. This is when it becomes evident that being a good spouse is not enough to stop spousal infidelity.
It is often said that we get what we deserve. Although a faithful spouse does not deserve to be cheated per se, the pain becomes his/her own doing when infidelity is accepted and tolerated. For most cheaters, not saying or doing anything is tantamount to permission. Faithful spouses are better off being a good spouse to someone who shows appreciation and responds accordingly.
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