The Bigger Lie

Which is worse - pretending you're still in love with your spouse or cheating on your spouse? Since they are both lies, nothing good is expected to come of them in the long run. Let us examine both.

Continuing on a relationship in spite of difficulties and challenges presented is to be commended for the mere effort to honor a commitment as in marriage. There should be a clear distinction however between really trying to work on a marriage and pretending to work on it. When someone is working hard to resolve an existing issue in marriage, it is safe to say that love has not been totally lost. Those who pretend to be so much in love and refuse to see the real problem because it is more convenient to do so have quite a problem at their hands. Cracks will eventually show anywhere that pretense is involved.

Cheating on a spouse outrightly shows "loss of love" for the partner. A pretense in marriage that is acted on often translates to cheating. If someone is just pretending to love a spouse, the possibility that the romantic interest lies on another person is highly probable. Sooner or later, the desire for another will be acted on physically and emotionally and this is where cheating comes in.

If we are to carefully weigh everything, the pretense may come out as a bigger lie than the act of infidelity itself. If the pretense was not allowed to grow and issues between spouses were clarified early on, the faithful spouse should have been spared the pain of infidelity. In fact, by pretending to love someone, you are effectively denying that person the opportunity to find someone who will genuinely love him/her. If that person knew from the very start that he/she was not loved in return, he/she might have lived life differently or with another person.

Cheating is cowardly because a cheater lacks the courage to let go of a spouse while he/she checks on other romantic possibilities. In a sense, cheaters use their spouses as security in the event that what is desired does not work out. Pretense is the bigger lie but infidelity is the greater pain.