In ideal circumstances, all cheated spouses would probably wish they have the strength to truly forgive their erring spouses just to give their marriages a fighting chance to survive. We know for a fact that no marriage will stand a chance under conditions where no trust is possible. Beyond the lip service of mouthing the words of forgiveness is the most difficult task of internalizing it so as to allow healing to start.
A cheated spouse has every right to be angry and doubtful of the cheating spouse's actuations and intentions. He/she would probably let loose of hurtful words directed at the cheater for bringing so much pain into the relationship. A cheater who is truly seeking forgiveness should understand that it isn't easy to give especially when there is a big possibility that cheating will not be terminated even after the discovery of the affair.
There are times when sticking it out in marriage after the cheating discovery may prove counterproductive for two people. One of these times is when the inability to forgive incites any of those involved towards violence. If a cheated husband for example cannot bear to look at his cheating wife without hitting her or insulting her in front of the children, it would be better for them to lead separate lives for the time being until they are ready to work things out in a more restrained manner.
A cheated spouse who does nothing but count the faults of the cheating spouse even after giving "forgiveness" has not actually reached the emotional level and state of being which makes it possible to accept the mistake and move forward. He/she can assume a level of superiority over the cheater for being the faithful spouse in the relationship and totally miss the point of forgiveness. Forgiving infidelity for some people may never come and this truth should be recognized eventually in determining what to do of the marriage.
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