Living the Double Life

Your spouse appears to be everything anyone can ask for in a loving wife. She is very responsible and attentive to your needs and the needs of your children. She is faultless in her schedules and time management. Even her physical appearance is something any husband would be proud of. Everything about her is to the point and you couldn't ask for anything more. Unknown to you, she has one big secret. She is seeing another man and you are totally clueless about it. Your wife is living a double life and she's got it all planned to perfection. Well, almost...

You just have one teeny-weeny bit of issue about her. You are not allowed to visit or call her at the office, ever... not even your children. Aside from that, everything's perfect.

It could have been really perfect if that nagging voice inside you will just keep quiet. What is there to be problematic about in not being able to know your wife's office mates or not being invited to any of their office parties? After all, she says its office policy. You could have ended it at that except that you friend also has a wife working in the same company as your wife and he gets to go there once in a while. It isn't as if your wife is holding some top secret position.

Just to put an end to your recurring doubts, you decide to surprise her by inviting her to lunch out on the pretext of some personal emergency. You think, surely the office can make a one-time exception in cases of family emergencies. And then before having the chance to get out of your car, you spot your wife locked in a tight embrace with another man before making her way to enter the office.

Now you know why you're not allowed to come to her office. It's your ball!

The Illusion of Extramarital Affairs

A person who commits infidelity and carries on a relationship with another, usually does so in the belief that things will be a lot better than it is with their marriage. A cheating husband may have found another woman who makes him feel more manly, alive, and in control. A cheating wife may have found another man who makes her feel beautiful, loved, and needed. Each believes that happiness lies in being with this other man/woman.

More often than not, they are just living an illusion. They are comparing two relationships that are very different from each other. Marriage or any other form of established relationships has to deal with the realities of life such as children, chores, and bills. Extramarital affairs do not have this kind of pressure. By the very nature of an illicit relationship, there is no commitment that disturbs the thrill and excitement experienced by the participants. The only pressure perhaps for people involved in cheating spouses is the pressure of getting caught.

People involved in an extramarital relationship have the chance of always putting their best foot forward. Infront of a paramour, he/she appears almost without fault. Their unmade-up appearance and worst behavior is reserved for their spouses who get to see the real person at home.

Most extramarital affairs travel the same route as destroyed marriages once they are subjected to the same pressures. The illusion of perfection crumbles to reveal the weakness of its foundation. Perennial cheaters lose no time in looking for other relationships as they create illusion after illusion.