More Than Friends

When we talk about infidelity statistics, we tend to include only the sexual relationships outside marriage or any established relationship. We forget that spouse betrayal can happen emotionally. Emotional involvement with another is considered cheating when it is enough to threaten the stability of a person's commitment to an existing relationship. Emotional affairs usually serve as precursor to a sexual relationship waiting to happen.

Many cases of infidelity were not deliberately sought out. In fact, a considerable number started out as harmless friendship or work relationship. Attraction to another is unavoidable but the manner by which a person acts on such attraction is what separates the cheater from the faithful. You are putting yourself up to trouble when you cross the line and choose to participate in a different level of intimacy even in the absence of any sexual aspect.

Emotional infidelity starts when the level of intimacy is such that it affects the over-all balance of an existing relationship. Confiding in another person more than your spouse, investing considerable time in being or talking with that person specifically in secrecy; or confiding your marital problems to that other person - these are examples of crossing the appropriate boundaries that define friendship and other relationships outside marriage.

If you are able to act no differently with that person in front of your spouse, then you are probably involved in a genuine friendship with no strings attached. Be careful however not to fool yourself by acting as if there is nothing going on when you know for a fact that there is. When we choose to share too much of ourselves with another, we cannot help but destroy an existing relationship as we build on another.